By SheLit
“Sir, these boys keep chasing us. If we say no, they feel insulted. If we ignore them, they say we gave them hope. What do we even say anymore?”
This isn’t just a casual complaint. It’s a lived reality for thousands of young women navigating everyday life — whether in school corridors, college campuses, or online chats. A student recently sent us this exact message, and it speaks volumes about the double-bind women face in rejecting unwanted attention.
When Saying ‘No’ Becomes a Crime
Girls are expected to smile, be polite, and “handle things maturely.” But if they set boundaries, they’re labeled as rude, arrogant, or “attitude wali ladki.” If they try to avoid confrontation and simply ignore the person, the boy assumes there’s still a chance — “She didn’t say no directly, so maybe she likes me.” This twisted sense of entitlement often turns into harassment, blame, or even violence.
The Problem Isn’t Rejection — It’s Entitlement
What we’re witnessing is not love. It’s not “expressing feelings.” It’s conditioning. Boys have grown up being told that persistence wins a woman’s heart, that rejection is just part of the game, and that every “no” is really a “maybe.” Worse, when girls try to avoid drama or protect their safety, their silence is used against them — as if they owe an explanation for not being interested.
Let us be clear: women do not owe politeness, explanations, or second chances to anyone who makes them uncomfortable.
“You Led Me On” — The Oldest Excuse
Accusing a girl of “leading someone on” just because she was decent, kind, or even neutral is nothing short of emotional manipulation. It shifts blame from the harasser to the victim. It’s the same mindset that questions a woman’s clothes, her smile, her eye contact — anything but the man’s actions.
So What Do We Say?
To our student who asked, “Ab kya kahun?” — we say this:
You don’t have to say anything. You are not responsible for how others react to your boundaries.
And to every boy, man, or parent reading this — start teaching that no means no, silence also means no, ignoring means no, and being nice does not mean yes.
Consent is not a puzzle to solve. It’s a boundary to respect.
Let’s Stop Romanticizing Harassment
Movies, songs, and popular culture must stop selling the idea that persistence is love. Stalking is not cute. Forcing attention is not care. Rejection is not an insult — it’s a right.
It’s time we raise our sons better. It’s time we believe our daughters faster. And it’s time we create a culture where a girl doesn’t have to think twice before saying “no.”