For generations, women have been made to believe that their struggles, challenges, and defeats are entirely their own fault. Society often whispers—or sometimes shouts—that women are responsible for the restrictions placed upon them, for the violence they face, or for the opportunities they miss. But the real question is: Are girls truly responsible for their defeat in society, or is society itself to blame?
The Burden of Blame
From childhood, many girls are told:
- “Don’t dress like this.”
- “Don’t speak too loudly.”
- “Don’t dream too big.”
The “don’ts” pile up until they become walls around her life. When she fails to cross those walls, the blame is again shifted onto her: “See, she didn’t try hard enough.”
This cycle of blame makes it appear as though girls are responsible for their own limitations, when in reality, these limitations are carefully designed by cultural norms, family pressures, and patriarchal systems.
Society’s Role in Women’s Defeat
Girls are not born with fewer capabilities. History proves that when given equal chances, women excel—in education, business, politics, sports, and every field imaginable. What defeats them is not a lack of talent or effort, but:
- Gender-based discrimination in jobs, salaries, and opportunities.
- Deep-rooted stereotypes that limit women to certain roles.
- Violence and harassment that restrict freedom of movement and expression.
- Lack of supportive ecosystems in families, workplaces, and communities.
When these barriers are in place, expecting girls to rise without struggle is unfair. Society builds the hurdles and then blames women for tripping over them.
The Internal Battle: When Women Blame Themselves
Sadly, years of conditioning make many women internalize this blame. A girl who wants to pursue her dreams may give up because she is made to believe she is “not capable enough” or “not worthy enough.” This is not her defeat—it is society’s failure to nurture her.
Shifting the Narrative
To truly empower women, we need to move away from blaming girls for their struggles. Instead, the focus should be on:
- Creating equal opportunities in education and employment.
- Breaking stereotypes through awareness and representation.
- Encouraging girls to raise their voice without fear of judgment.
- Holding society accountable for systemic barriers.
Girls are not responsible for their defeat in society. They are fighters, dreamers, and changemakers who have been made to carry the weight of an unequal world. The real responsibility lies with society at large—to recognize its biases, dismantle oppressive structures, and ensure that no girl has to apologize for being herself.
It’s time we stop asking, “Why did she fail?” and start questioning, “Why did society fail her?